Chapter 19 – Relationships and love


Love conquers all. Love can move mountains. Love can be something far greater than we perhaps usually consider it to be. Love is the fundamental power/energy that we cannot live without (unlike aggression, for example). We know that babies die without love and touch, even if they are given food and dry nappies.

While reading (for personal growth and for this book) I have come across many descriptions of the ”all-unifying force” that scientists are searching for – the theory that could give one single explanation of how the universe works – and in several places there are discernible hints that this power could be love.

The message sounds familiar, it is not new, but comes this time from maybe unexpected quarters; that we could also get scientific support for the strong power of love – love as the highest working energy, the very principle of life. Several scientists have been on that track, among others David Bohm, who said that this power could well be ”love in the sense of some very intense energy…”.

What if love is the higher energy that holds the universe together.

Once, when I was driving the car and thinking about the void – the sea of energy that scientists call the ”sea of possibilities” – the radio suddenly played the old song Sea of Love!

What if the ”sea of possibilities” is a sea of love.
What if we live in a sea of love without realizing it.
What if love is the truth.

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If we can accept that we create our own reality, that everything we experience, we do so within, we can start to build truly meaningful and conscious relationships.

Our relationships are the perfect instruments for our development and for finding our authentic power. Relationships bring out the love within us but also our worst fears, such as being rejected, abandoned or not being good enough.

Relationships give us the opportunity to see and work through the parts of us that need to be healed – those parts that want to judge, accuse and the like and want to place responsibility outside ourselves. We know that our feelings do not depend on anyone else, but instead on how we process energy within. My well-being, my joy and happiness are generated within me and every painful emotion tells me that here is something I need to manage in a better way. We can see how such an approach would affect our relationships, our view of love, the meaning of life.

Relationships are ultimately about the potential for us all to become whole, to reach our center and the unconditional love within.

That love exists within us is easy to see when we are in the connected state, but when we fall back into the ego’s dualistic approach, we lose access to that wide-screen perspective. The yearning for unity makes us search for love outside ourselves, but the flow of love arises from within us – love comes from being one with the Self.

Love is indivisible and the difficulties first arise when we start to think in terms of separation – ”I love this person, but not that person”. It is never love that causes our problems, but what we believe to be love – or belong to love – like power struggles, jealousy, the “possession” of someone and the like, which all come from fear.

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